Shining Veil
by FoxSpirit
Summary: One-shot fic, about some of Kurama's feelings on the secret he's been keeping from his mother for all his years in the ningenkai. Very conclusive huh? I suck at summaries...


I was browsing xanga and listening to li1aznvi3tgrl's bg music and thought of...Kurama! Very unpredictable ne? (I dunno why I thought of him...probably cause I think of him 24/7). Anyway, it made me think of how his whole life as a demon and tantei is hidden completely from his mother...(again, I have no clue why I thought of that fact about him). So I wrote that ficish type thing.  
  
Underscores show what's supposed to be in italics cause my comp won't save in html anymore...  
  
*I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho*  
  
"See ya tomorrow Shuuichi!" Kurama turned around to face the girls running past him. Running home after another day of school. The quiet boy simply gave them a kind smile and a small wave. He watched as they turned to each other and giggle, with slightly reddened faces. Kurama shook his and walked to his own house in the opposite direction.  
  
When the former demon came home he saw his beloved mother sitting at their chestnut dinning room table, gazing at a white sheet of paper in her grasp, the envelope it had arrived in torn open beneath her pale hands. Her gentle blue eyes glistened as it seemed she was on the brink of tears. Shuuichi walked to the table, concerned at what upset her.  
  
"Mother?" he said softly as not to startle her.  
  
"Mm? Oh Shuuichi your home," Shiori looked up to her son.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, still carrying his gentle tone, "you looked like you were about to cry."  
  
"It's nothing really dear. I was just thinking..." she replied to him, her focus returning to the paper. Kurama leaned over to see what was so interesting. It wasn't anything special though, just a letter from Meiou about his performance, as always he was doing exceptionally well. He didn't understand what was troubling about it. Shiori sensed he was watching over her shoulder in concern. "Don't worry, Shuuichi, you haven't done anything wrong."  
  
"Then...what is it?" he pushed further for an answer.  
  
"I was just thinking about you. And how much you've changed me," she said, almost embarrassed.  
  
"What have I done?" Kurama questioned. _Other then put up a charade that's lasted for sixteen years..._  
  
"You've made me feel like I have a sense of purpose now..." she said hesitantly, stating the last thing he was prepared to hear.  
  
"I've...mother you've always had a purpose. With or without me."  
  
"Shuuichi, you've done so many great things, you couldn't imagine how proud I am of you. Everyone who I've talked to, aside from always commenting on your hair, tells me how lucky I am to have you. How they think your destined for great things..." Shiori said, tears welling in her eyes once more. "Seeing this...it just reminded me of it, that's all. Just reminded me of how fortunate I am to have you as my son. You must think I sound like an overreacting mother, that you won't rise and remain just a face in the crowd. But...I can't help but smile when I think of what your capable of becoming, and to know that I had the privilege of raising you and watching you grow into what you are now."  
  
Kurama's emotions were mixed down while he listened to her words. Shuuichi Minamino. The so-called perfect boy. What was he really, underneath it all? The greatest thief, elusive fox, and murderer of countless demons. Betrayals and deaths littered his name, his hidden life. The boy she knew and loved was a mere illusion. Kurama was joyed that he could make her feel so wonderful, but felt horrible that what brought her so much happiness was just a mask over his true self. He was positive that if she knew all of his sins then she wouldn't be the over joyed parent she currently was.  
  
"I haven't done anything that great..." he replied guiltily. After his reply to her speech the phone rang shrilly. Shiori stood up and pushed in her wooden chair quickly. When she walked past Kurama she gently put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Shuuichi, don't worry. Maybe it's just something I see as your mother. You've done more then you know," she said sweetly to him, then walked past him silently to catch the phone on it's third ring. Kurama heard her talking to the voice on the other end faintly. She sighed heavily as she hung up and grabbed her fine blue bag lying on the kitchen counter top. "I have to leave for work for a little, you'll be okay won't you?"  
  
"Yeah,"  
  
"Okay then, I'll be home as soon as I can," she hugged him goodbye and walked out the door hurriedly. Kurama took her seat at the table and picked up the school report. Excellent scores again. He wished his human self reflected his secret life. Then...maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty when she admitted she was proud of him. There was no way to take that guilt away though. Unless...he told her.  
  
What if she knew.  
  
The lies.  
  
The secrets.  
  
Everything.  
  
Would she still think of him the same way?  
  
Would she still have the same shining smile when she looked at him?  
  
Kurama tried to put the thoughts out of his mind. He could never tell her. She wouldn't believe him...at least not until he proved it with a rose. Would she believe it even after that? He had the power to shatter everything she had grown up knowing and believing. There were no demons in the world. There was no "magic." Everything had a scientific reason behind it, you just had to find it first. To know that her own son, her pride and joy, was the epitome of a demon in his previous form, even somewhat in his current body...could there even be a reasonable reaction to it? Is _that_ something science could explain?  
  
But what if something _did_ happen to him on one of these suicide missions of Koenma's and he had never told her the truth? The child lord was always putting the tantei up against seemingly unbeatable odds, yet they had always managed to pull through without casualties. Though the times they had been near death was numerous. Kurama didn't want Koenma, or Botan to be the ones to break it to Shiori that he had been killed. He didn't want them to be the ones who told his mother about his "other life." She deserved to be told by the one whom it affected and connected her to it. If nothing else, he owed her that.  
  
Every time she explained her immense feeling of pure happiness that he gave her he couldn't help but feel guilty. Because he knew, that it was all an elaborate lie. The biggest lie of his life. He put up a veil to conceal his more dishonorable actions, and it shined above the true lives of many.  
  
_They believe you're destined for great things..._  
  
Kurama heard his mother's voice ring in his head. Great things...it wasn't false that he had already done many great things. Terrible at times, but they were outstanding enough to be commended. He wanted to be a face in the crowd, however. He would give so much for it, though not anything. Would it hurt his mother that he didn't want to make it big in the human world? That the demon realm was more then enough for him, and that he didn't want half of the recognition he had there.  
  
Kurama laughed to himself, "great things..." he whispered almost inaudibly. He wasn't exactly proud of the actions he had taken to rise above the rest. What he had done, and what the humans foresaw for him were completely different.  
  
Telling her would change everything. The way she saw him, the flexibility she allowed him, her trust in him...the fox couldn't think of one thing that wouldn't change. Maybe even her love for him would falter. Would it be worth it to reveal it to her? The only advantage he could find was relieving the powerful weight on his shoulders from keeping this away from her for sixteen years. Then...the force would be shifted to her though. And if things turned sour he would have another guilt factor haunting him.  
  
_Youko wouldn't have a problem dealing with this._ Shuuichi thought to himself. The spirit fox wouldn't hesitate to lift the weight off himself and dump it on another poor soul, and the human boy was somewhat disgusted by his previous selfishness. Thinking on it, the demon wouldn't have had felt guilty at all in the first place. That's why he liked who he was now better. He cared for others more then himself, something that he wasn't capable of then. Something that only human love could have taught him.  
  
Kurama released the report and watched it float down to the table top. He stared at it for a few seconds more, only just spotting the single tear stain near the bottom, then pushed the chair out and stood up. In his heart, he knew that she had been crying. Crying for the happiness he brought her. And that was the one thing he could never bring himself to steal.  
  
"If only...I could tell her, and not deal with the consequences..." 


End file.
